Joshua M.

 

One more

one more breath

one more word

one more thought

one more look

one more glance

one more encounter

one more message

one more goodbye

one more goodnight

one more morning

one more smile

one more quiet

one more dream

one more touch

one more step

one more kiss

one more second

one more minute

one more life.

 

With you

With you I am:

Alive

Awake

Real

Strong

Purposeful

Living

Dreaming

Hoping

Reckless

Planning

Embracing

Falling

Flying

Immersed

Light

Desire

Everything

Complete

Clear

Today

Tomorrow

Yesterday

Yours

Your soulmate

Your man.

 

In the Desert

Among the stone temples

Built from burnt sand

She stands.

Over fallen empires

Lost by unknown ancestors

Her gaze penetrates.

Beneath her feet the dust swirls,

And her memories gather as clouds

Moving over her eyes.

Tears form over her eyes

Welling over as a glimmering pool

She feels the distance.

One by one,

Liquid diamond achingly trails

Down the porcelain skin.

Her face for that moment,

A jewel, divine,

Lost from a royal crown.

Each drop spills forth from

Her skin.

Landing purposefully and buried.

Coloring sand from tan to brown.

Each drop, a storm unleashed.

Silent resignation falling

Short and quick onto the hard reality.

In this silence, against the slow heaving of her chest,

The earth cracks.

Sputters its cry, newborn.

She bends and touches the fresh earth,

Digging her fingers deeper,

Pushing inward into the hot sand.

Curled around the silk of her hair,

Tiny rainbows shine,

As if shining across a freshly plowed field.

In a slow upward dance, new growth,

Albino white and blush with green-

Blind creation twist around her fingers.

She steps back into history,

The chasm of time and spaces closes

Filled now with new life.

She breathes, dust swirls around her lips.

Reaching heavenward, to her.

Lost paradise explodes underneath.

The lightning of her eyes

Flashes white light,

Palette of color to inspire.

I walk to her, across ocean and desert.

To this new oasis, our shelter.

Filled with shade and fruit.

And together, we reclaim,

New paradise and true life.

In the garden of our dreams.*

 

A Sonnet

When you stretch out your arms in your morning wake, can you feel the sun dip in the horizon to make space?

When you take each step can you feel the earth quake in anticipation for you pending touch?

When you press your face against your skin, does it feel as it is falling forever in the white softness?

When you blink your eyes, can you feel the world descend into chaos for the brief moment you are away?

When you press your lips together in silence, can you feel the wind become still as if a lid has covered the

world?

When you uncurl your hands can you hear all the birds of the world race toward you as its lost nest?

When you look at me, can you feel my soul melt into me like candle to a flame?

When you whisper, I love you, can you hear the doors to my heart open only for you?

When you part your lips, can you feel the air rush from me to you in anxious journey to know you?

And, when you read these words, can you feel my hands race down your body claiming every inch of you?

If so, then I know my sweet lady that love has made its dominion your life. And for this, WE are loyal subjects of

love.

 

The Moment

It was her look when she entered the room; a smooth confidence that sailed across faced with breezy ease.

She wore beauty casually, letting it rest across her body as if it were tailored a long time ago just for her.

Yet this beauty is generations old and only likes to rest on the shoulders of the select.

She turns with grace that is timed to all cosmic rhythms, counting time through the slow orbit of her glance.

Her mouth opens wide and, like a perfect instrument, allows the quiet air to enter inside of her and be exhaled into

wondrous notes.

For those hearing her for the first time, you would think she had called you directly by name even though you

never met; that is how blended into your life she seemed to be.

Standing there lost in thought, her mouth moves again and then you know that her laughter is your calling. You

move.

As if each note of her voice were silent strings wrapped around you, you are taken captive to her, so willingly

held.

The closer you come, the fine details of herself swirl to you like a spin wheel of color until all you see is the

whiteness of her skin.

Held captive by her look, she blinks, and shutter-like takes a quick picture of your soul, exposing you as if you

were a new born child.

And as quickly as it happens, half breath lost in exposure, your body braced for the cold of judgment, you feel the

warmth of her embracing smile.

How does she know you already? How did her knowledge soak up the spilled remains of dark memories?

And all within this one moment, you finally speak just to say your name, but knowing that this encounter is

ancient, carved on our hearts as a holy script.

For now, We meet and the curtains over our lives has risen, the stage of our heart is set, we must perform the

only story of our lives.

always be more.. give more and be ready to receive more

 

Dreams

They say that dreams may only live one night and then die an early death at

the sight of light. And that a dream is just like clouds in the summer sky,

that float over the mind.

And as children we stare hard at them and dream them to be shapes as

commanded by our imagination. Yet, in the end, always just imagination.

Others say that dreams light our nights as if they were a jar of fireflies,

swirling in chaotic light, until set free by the commanding call of parents.

Each day, dreams are sentenced to the quickest of deaths, condemned to the

night against the judging dawn of day.

How the delicate frame of dreams is pressed against the weight of the

expectation that knows no bending!

But to me, I know of only one dream. A dream that does not end with the

day but only begins with it.

My dream does float across my soul and the only thing I see is her face: Her

face is the shapes of all shapes and the images of all images.

She settles over me, bright as any cloud and limitless as any sky... And she

knows only me.

This dream wakes with me in the morning and does not leave my side. Her

light knows no end and swirls around me tracing the words I must learn

each day.

The words of love, of commitment, of passion, of romance, of forever, of

hope, of possibility, of humility, of acceptance...for her.

So tonight, I close my eyes and make a simple prayer that I may dream so

that I may live forever.

 

Susurrus

To imagine her, yesterday and beyond, is to find my future.

How her feet traced her joy as she played on the seashore. The sounds of

the ocean hushed away all problems.

The light that would dance within her hair and reflect her glow for all to

see. The way her smile expanded and expanded to catch the light of the

setting sun.

She moved without worry, spinning to catch the wind within her dance and

letting it go to find her again and again.

Her laughter would flow freely away from her and land with the soothing

calm of spring showers on those around her.

How she looked at today and tomorrow as an unbroken chain of possibility;

time was a thread leading her to forever unceasingly.

The beating of her heart was the quiet murmur reminding her of the call of

destiny. And she woke up each morning listening to this hushed command.

As she raced through crowded streets, the pounding beat of her heart

screamed to her the instructions for her dreams. So, she ran faster.

Today, I find her. She is quiet, learned silence with dreams sealed within

her.

Locked and wishing to be unlocked but the key has long been forgotten.

I take her hands into mine, intertwine my fingers within hers, re-forming

the key to our hearts.

She looks at me and that light by the seas simmers within her, pleading for

her return. Simmering brighter against the held tears, pools of sorrow filled

from days past.

I place my hand on her chest. My heart stops, finds its new rhythm in her,

and starts again-- one beat only.

We breathe and exhale the words of our expectations long ago forgotten.

Floating from her lips is the key: Listen.

Only this key can unlock her joy. Only with this dream and this reality of

forever will she be free.

And so we must begin, and I lay her down on the soft sheets and count the

moments until tomorrow and today cease to be.

Falling like petals gliding down a stream, my kisses cover her and protect

her. Warmth, soft and countless.

And then we sit in silence, and she speaks, opens her hands and invites me

further within her. I respond and wrap my arms around her and listen.

She trembles, as if she were a bird making its nest on the highest tree

branch, bracing against the winds of change.

We know that this journey is fed on our life and our heart and that nothing

will be left of us when we finish. We take a step forward.

All we have feared and hidden from ourselves must be exposed and the fear

is real. We take another step together.

We will shed the hard cloth that has shielded us from burning sun of

expectations; we move forward.

Today, I find her within me, her past and her present revealing itself slowly

as a photo developed in the dark room of her silence. Today I find her and

her future is now mine wrapped with her life and my life.

 

Meeting

As you move, the world rotates,

When you step, the earth shakes in anticipation

waiting for the light weight of your touch.

And then I turn to see you,

your eyes are ablaze with love,

pierce me and expose my affection!

The air between us is like space between heaven and earth,

how I wait to die and rise to you,

finding my eternity in your embrace.

My breath slows down to carry me upwards,

allowing me to balance my world to you,

and I slowly turn into you, feeling life.

Your small hands, painted red,

move quickly to entangle me in your softness;

as my hands race to find all of you.

My world, I seek you as a lost sailor seeks the northern star,

My angel, I pray to you as a pilgrim seeking protection,

My Muse, I sing to you as you fill me with verses.

And so, I sit here, waiting to see you.

How every inch of my body stretches itself out to you,

wishing to become cool vapor and find you and soothe you.

I wait, but with a restless heart

as the woman I love is afar

and the world I seek is not with me.

We must meet, alone.

 

Your Mind

Your mind is beautiful art,

working like an exquisite clock

moving smoothly and effortlessly.

The unformed world speaks to you,

and your imagination gets hold of this chaos

and strings it together as pearls on a string.

And what was unknown becomes known

and what is known becomes beautiful

through the living force of your intellect.

I am in awe of your mind,

how it latches and covers everything

and what it holds becomes more than it was.

My soul is lost and I seek you,

I share and you find me,

Your mind opens the way,

With thoughts that have been held for me,

locked away in your soul and released through your mind

you travel to the depths of my heart.

Your mind breathes wisdom,

it exhales thoughts that give life to the world

and meaning to my life.

I love you mind; and alone I will know you.

 

And discovering that the shadow
is always part of the form
as our love is always part of one soul.
And discovering that the shadow
is always part of the form
as our love is always part of one soul.

Take Flight
Today, is that day we waited for and hoped for. The day when a dream was
born and a hope was made.
We are simple children of earth but even we know when grace has arrived,
as if it were a new bird that landed in our midst, colored and lost but still
full of purpose.
We call out its name but it looks not at us because this small bird is not of
this world and seeks not what we seek. Slowly it flutters high above us and
begins to circle us. In awe, we look above and see that following its flight is
a rainbow that traces where it has been and where it will go.
And with this insight falls just a single feather that lands on the small palm
of a child. This child dreams and begins to run alongside this bird. Slowly
the child began to lift. The soft fabric of his clothing began to peel past and
flutter in the wind until he as well began to fly. He rises and becomes that
what he was always meant to be and meant to be that which he learned was
impossible.
And slowly everyone begins to understand that there is beauty in this world
that is given to allow one to dream and to hope in what is possible.

Faery dreams
Twinkle the tips of your toes,
Sneeze the magic dust

That blast like powered stars
From the humming beat of your wings.
Whisper your funniest tales,
The stories that make your belly ache
And the corners of your eyes fill with pools of joy.
Hold onto her, make her skin laugh,
And smile at how she bends to you,
Remind her that today is the tomorrow she dreamed of.
Take the dark canvas of her fears
And paint silly colors all over
Ivory, gold and alabaster --sunset rising.
Use your golden hair as a rope,
Capturing the Spirits of doubts,
Drag them to the abyss of lost memory.
So sinking forever,
they melt like dripping wax
Covering all her conquered fears.
Come awake her, gentle faery,
Change her escaping slumber
Into the racing desire for the unknown.
Stir, rise and giggle with new knowledge,
All unknown is as childhood secrets whispered into her new ears,
That now listen with renewed innocence.

Take Flight
Today, is that day we waited for and hoped for. The day when a dream was
born and a hope was made.

We are simple children of earth but even we know when grace has arrived,
as if it were a new bird that landed in our midst, colored and lost but still
full of purpose.
We call out its name but it looks not at us because this small bird is not of
this world and seeks not what we seek. Slowly it flutters high above us and
begins to circle us. In awe, we look above and see that following its flight is
a rainbow that traces where it has been and where it will go.
And with this insight falls just a single feather that lands on the small palm
of a child. This child dreams and begins to run alongside this bird. Slowly
the child began to lift. The soft fabric of his clothing began to peel past and
flutter in the wind until he as well began to fly. He rises and becomes that
what he was always meant to be and meant to be that which he learned was
impossible.
And slowly everyone begins to understand that there is beauty in this world
that is given to allow one to dream and to hope in what is possible.

Only you know her lullaby,
Sung to the newborn heart
Full of youthful courage, with cape and costume dragging behind her.
Let melody become fresh memory.
Dear faery, this night is her night
Rattle your charms and chant your spells,
She blooms and you alone color this flower,
As she does not whither but spreads open to your sun she calls soul.

Precious

Precious
Your life...your way of thinking...of being...even of just breathing is
perfection to me. I look for it every day.
I cannot wait to hear what you are thinking and what you are feeling.
you are like the gems in a jewelry box that I open each day and find
something new and precious inside.
one day a diamond, the strength of your love and mind.
another day ruby, red with your passion and intensity
another moment a pearl: the smooth and rounded perfection of your
soul...created from the gentle turning of time.
another day I see a web of silk...the gentle, strong and soft strength of your
feelings..
You are my jewel! Precious and perfect.

Soon
Soon, there will be no words,
Just the subtle movements of ourselves
The strings that held us together,
The invisible binding will be strung around us.
Now we will become one, aligned
the slow and rapidly rising beat of our hearts.
Time is going to slow its wheels,
Hold still the air so that is can fill us
And allow me to reach out to you,
And within eternity, touch you, only.

No more waiting. No more dreaming,
Only holding, only living.
So I wait, and my entire self
Is yours. And all yourself mine.

Found
Today, I found a life, a way, a path paved with the moments I was with
you.
I saw the light of your eyes, how it pushed back the army of darkness back
to its cave of doubt.
I felt how the weave of our fingers around each other created the strongest
knot that cannot be undone.
I was brought back up to life as your arms held tightly around my waist and
my descent became an ascent.
And between the words, the air between us began to give new life, filling
the lungs of our souls so that we can prepare for the journey ahead.
Reaching across the distance were your hands, knowing their search was
over, they came to me, clinging onto me, become the coral on the sunken
treasure of my heart.
And then I reach out to you, needing you, catching you as if you were a
shooting star and I was a lost traveler seeking a new galaxy.
Then, ever so quietly, I heard the whispers of our life in the moist fullness
of your lips, intimate knowledge that must now become to life.

And with those words, I inscribed each of them onto your skin, as my
fingers raced across the valley and peaks of your living country.
And little by little I knew, that there is not much left to question or to doubt,
that the unlocked heart has no more secrets.
The life that I need to live is found only within the world created within our
enclosed embrace, in that space where a new life, the first life, the true life
is.

Your world
Your breath, my wind,
Your ideas, my sunlight.
Your hips, my horizon.
Your feet, the steps to my temple.
Your neck, my temple
Your hands, my altar.
Your stomach, my butterfly.
Your suprasternal notch, my cave
Your thighs, my valley.
Your hair, my night.
Your skin, my moonlight.
Your eyes, my stars.
Your words are my waves
Your feet, my seashells,
Your smile, the rising sun.
Your words, my starlight.
Your dreams, my life
Your embrace, my rest.

Your life, my-self
Your love, my eternity.
Your kiss, my ocean.

Holding
I often hold:
Hold back what I feel
Hold back what I fear.
I often embrace:
Embrace my limitations,
Embrace resignation.
I often share:
Share that which is superficial
Share that which cannot hurt me.
I often believe:
Believe that I am never enough
Believe that I ask too much.
I often hope:
Hope that I am not asked to be more,
Hope that I am remembered but forgotten.
And today, I hold out myself to you. To be embraced in all aspects that I
share. For I believe that my soul in you can truly hope ****

 

Love directs your course ❤
winter solstice
there always is silence, before the birth of a heavenly symphony
there always is void, before the creation of a beautiful piece of art
there always is wasteland, before the planting of a rose-garden
there always is letting go, before receiving something stunningly new
there always is a blank page, before it`s filled with flowing verses
there always is white canvas, before it shows a wondrous image
there always is an empty stage, before the union of the lovers
there always is dark night, before the birds start singing their morning praises
there always is a death, before a rising of new life
there always is great pain, before gained wisdom, peace and joy
there always is a cold winter, before awakening of life-promising spring
there always is loneliness, before meeting the one who will take it away forever
there always is a darkest night, before the new birth of the light
but for all in love with the sunrise
still true to the night
tonight, at winter solstice, all the universe is giving its undeniable promise that no
matter how long the darkness, sadness, loneliness,
at the breaking of dawn,
there always will be love, joy, light ♡♡♡ by me
☀ # ✨
Eurydice
Only with my eyes closed do I see you,
The hidden fears of being found
Echo my way to your self.
Slowly I retrace the steps to find you through memory and hope;
Lost dreams and scattered imagination,
Each crack under my feet until behold
I see you, softly muttering
Dreams that float from your lips
Like petals that carry ever so far inside of you
Until they evaporate in the darkness
Yet, here, find light
Outstretched to you, so willing
To melt apart the shell,

And warm the new skin, reborn.
Newly crowned, you will reign over my free-dom,
Majestic, you will be revered.
As newly discovered earth,
Explored, known and made rich.
I grasp your hand pulling you close,
As you push away
Into hesitation, awareness.
and blur through the present,
Sliding past hesitation and
Behind the wall, the turmoil sprays upward, mist
Cooling, beckoning mystery.

Thank you so much... that is amazingly beautiful - and touching - and true... and
beautifully written - only with my eyes closed do I see you
If only everybody would know, and understand, and feel, and see behind the
shell... the longing of being found... through hope, and dreams and scattered
Imagination
I thank you for sharing this with me... to less people who want to find - and being
found; who want to see - and being seen...as they are .. or could be

 

<3
She is put together very delicately,
With the complexity of a timepiece,
Fragile to touch but strong enough to measure the world.
The world only sees her strength,
And she builds from this power of hers,
Shaping and bending the present to her.
She lays there, sideways watching everything. Her eyes just staring ahead as she
looks out to the window.
And the horizon both touches her face or just races away from her reach, making
everything seem both possible and distant.

She can count the beating of her heart so she knows she is very much alive. The
morning is hers and the sun connects the points on her skin.
Just resting there she feels everything racing past her as her soul leaps to join it
all.
This month is hers.

 

*
She stood there against the calm,
the wind ran up close against her skin
With the sky piercing blue
like one giant eye watching, unblinking.
The clothes fluttered on the line,
Making snapping sounds,
as if winter were hungry and waiting,
With jaws shaking like cracked ice.
Yet she stood there unshaken,
Lost and found in that moment
With a soft smile across her lips
As if she were in deep in soulful conversation.
The little girl had been watching her,
She seemed to have come from nowhere,
Her eyes were red and swollen,
Tears hung heavily onto her eyelashes.

She walked over to her and sat down,
Trying to instantly earn her trust
The way a cat can purr itself into ones life.
It works; the girl looked down and silently sits.
This girl's eyes were dark, like her hair,
And behind them burned embers
Red and fresh as if her whole world had
Exploded in one instant.
So she reached across and just touched the back of her hand,
It was soft, long as a new instrument.
She felt it calm down. Settle.
She knew this look, the one of loss,
It was written over her face,
Permanent and universal like ancient carvings.
But so fresh, she could almost peer down into the emptiness.
Comforting her, she tells her how she was also young once. And when she ever
felt afraid she would run away deep into the woods. Until she found a grassy field.
And she would sit. Under the sun, feeling like she was swallowed by sunlight.

And she would sit. Under the sun, feeling like she was swallowed by sunlight.
Hoping that maybe she would just disappear under all of this light.
In this light she would remember how it was to be held by that one who loved her
even before she was born.
That within those arms she was protected, invulnerable.
Then she would sleep and dreams would pass over her like clouds,
Offering her moments of comfort
Escaping everything

*
Every way.
Your love is the first,
And the last.
I seek to find you, so
I can to be lost in you.
When I see you,
I want to be hidden within your gaze.
The moment I grasp your warm skin,
I want to let go and fall completely into you.
Every time I move my lips to call your name,
I want them to close to kiss you.
I want each of my whispers into your ear,
To echo into the screams of your joy.
I give you the space to stand strong,
And then I am near in your weakness.
Your words are my last when I sleep,
And first when I awake.
I discover every inch of your body,
and become lost in the scent that rises to meet me.

I weave the bindings of our love with our weakness,
Tying ourselves together in this hidden strength.
I see you again and again to live again,
Then seek blindness so your memory is last memory.
Your love is the seed that grows life within me,
And the death of all that has strangled the dreams of my present.
I seek to have you forever,
But desperately seek to hold you within each second.
I want to forget everything that I know.
So I can learn all of you.
I can find you even in the discordant voices of myself,
Where you harmonize your identity with mine.
I let the edges of you slip away from me,
So I can spend the rest of my days reclaiming what I let go.
I hold you as you sleep,
So we can be awake together.
And I hold you as we wake,
So we can know rest.

The search
She saw him from afar. A stranger that stood on her shore. He said that he
followed the sound of the voice, leaving his vessel to begin this journey to her.
She laughed at these reasons, found them comical when she thought of all that
she was still seeking. How could she ever be anyone's shore when she so wanted
herself to plunge into the ocean?
He looked lost and disheveled. A soul suffering from too many searches. She
almost felt sorry for him. Pitying how this journey would bear him no fruit. How
long has she struggled alone. Battling the never ending battles that one engages
in her head.
So she dares him to respond, again. Why are you here?

And he asks her what does it mean to be dead in life? To have laughter bounce
off of you and only feel the pain of its cadence. To see beauty like no other and
watch it whither to your touch.
How does it feel to live life with the slow burn of your soul at its wick's end?
And she knows. And now she is questioning whether she is so alone.
But, again, does not the sharing of the same pain mean that they are no more
better for each other than two stranded ships if they ever wish to get off this
island?
He now looks at her and smiles. My lady, he says, you did not know this but the
journey is not to leave this island and return to where we came but the journey is
to be on this island. For years I have been lost at sea searching for the island that
has the treasure and the adventure that would test and reward the person I am.
So I searched. I found adventure and some treasure and I waited for the moment
of feeling filled on the shores of each island. I surrounded myself with only that
which confirmed the person I wanted to be. Voices would echo my thoughts and
my belief until I thought the echo was the voice of the divine and my following a
sign of my faith. Yet, all I did was worship myself and my own creations.
Then, she asked, how is this shore any different from all the others? You may yet
again be repeating your failures, except that you now hear my voice.
Yes, your voice, he replies. Your voice is what brought me here, but I do not
confuse it as my own. When you called me, you did not ask for me. Instead I
heard the sound of your plea and knew that our journeys are meant to be as one.
What you were pleading for were the fears and dreams that I had hidden even to
myself.

Take flight
Today, is that day we waited for and hoped for. The day when a dream was born
and a hope was made.
We are simple children of earth but even we know when grace has arrived, as if it
were a new bird that landed in our midst, colored and lost but still full of purpose.

We call out its name but it looks not at us because this small bird is not of this
world and seeks not what we seek. Slowly it flutters high above us and begins to
circle us. In awe, we look above and see that following its flight is a rainbow that
traces where it has been and where it will go.
And with this insight falls just a single feather that lands on the small palm of a
child. This child dreams and begins to run alongside this bird. Slowly the child
began to lift. The soft fabric of his clothing began to peel past and flutter in the
wind until he as well began to fly. He rises and becomes that what he was always
meant to be and meant to be that which he learned was impossible.
And slowly everyone begins to understand that there is beauty in this world that is
given to allow one to dream and to hope in what is possible.

For then, if not your whole heart is into something what could it be worth? It ́s not
to predict the future or to not be playful - it ́s just about truthfullness and respect
For throwing your whole heart into something, no matter what it is, that ́s the fun
part right there - and the high risk. I ́m not afraid of any risks, but I ́m not gonna
jump out of a plane without a parachute. I ́m wild, i ́m crazy, i ́m emotional - but i
́m not interested in hurting myself as i ́m not interested in hurting others.
yes, you got that right, there ́s a longing in my voice, a calling for life, for love (in
any form and there are so many forms), for adventure, for true encounters, for
serving, for helping, for being seen and being hold, for poetry :), for flying over the
amazingly wild colorful ocean, for intensity, for desire, for souls to connect, for
justice, for healing, for dreaming and for fullfilling your dreams, for anything else
than mediocracy, dullness, lukewarmness, for the marrow of life, for being
challenged, for travelling the whole earth, for exploring what you find, for
wildness, for fun, for truthfullness, for joy, for music (with lyrics and melodies :)),
for a little shiver now and then and some goosepops, for magic, for really nice
company.
Since you are nice company, you ́re more than welcome to join me a little on this
wild and crazy roadtrip. I ́ll leave my bags open for you to throw in your
toothbrush and some of your clothes, much more intensity, some poems -
pleeeaaase - and then some more, some wild and crazy thoughts, some hurts
and aching to heal the world, some deep questions, some nice books to read to
each other by the campfire, some fun, some challenges, some longing and a little
desire here and there, some magic and some little sparkle for the eyes :). oh, and

could you bring that voice, please :) that makes me shiver and that smile
You want to challenge me? Ready when you are! But maybe I can challenge you
as well, to jump with me from the highest mountain, we can find on our trip, and
find the magic in falling :)

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